Naruto BedTime Tales!
by Brit-Charm
Summary: Here it is! All your favourite Naruto Characters in famous bed time tales! Enjoy reading the naruto versions of stories such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Crack Fic. Update: Abandoned.
1. Deilocks and the Three Sand Nins

(Sits down in a chair in front of a stage with a large book in hands)

Hello everyone! I'm Kaiyo Uchiha and I'll be reading you several naruto bedtimes stories! Up to the point I get bored… But anyway… As I read, there will be a small show on for you to enjoy! The first story is called Deilocks and the Three Sand Nins…

(Opens book and begins to read)

_Once upon a time, there lived a small family of sand ninjas. There was a Mummy.._

(Temari walks onto the stage with an apron around her) Humph. I'm Mummy Sand Nin and I'll send you all to bed with one wave of my fan if you make a single joke about this!

_And a Daddy…_

(Kankuro follows her with a pipe in his mouth and a newspaper) I like to say hi to all my fangirls out there!

(Temari) .. What fangirls?

_And a Baby!!_

(Gaara walks on looking annoyed, with his teddy held tightly) Laugh .. And you all die.

_One morning Mummy Sand Nin decided to make her whole family porridge!_

(Kankuro) But I don't like porridge!

(Temari drops a huge bowl of porridge in front of them) I'm not going to slave away for nothing! YOU EAT THIS OR ELSE

(Gaara hugs his teddy) Don't worry teddy… Temari won't poison us. . .

_But the porridge was too hot for them to eat! So they decided to take a walk while they wait for it too cool down. _

(Kankuro) SAVED!!

(Temari) Grr…

GO NOW!!

(All three walk off annoyed)

_Now hiding nearby was a young boy, who had the most softest and beautiful golden hair anyone ever seen! So they called him… Deilocks!_

(Deidara jumps onto the stage with a huge grin) I'm Deilocks and I'm going to steal their pet Bijuu un!

No stealing!

(Deidara) aww

_Now, Deilocks was feeling very hungry and he could smell the porridge coming from the Sand Nins house. _

(Deidara gags) ITS POISON!!

(Temari holds up a wooden spoon from offstage) WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

(Deidara gulps) Nothing un!

_So he entered the house and decided to taste a bit of the porridge. _

(Deidara pokes the porridge with a 10 feet hook) You sure its safe un?

Just eat it!!

(Deidara picks up a spoonful and eats it quickly)

_But the porridge was too hot!_

(Deidara runs around the stage holding his throat) IT BURNS!!

_So he tried the next bowl of porridge_

(Deidara) You're joking right un?!

Eat it or I'll hide all your clay!

(Deidara quickly takes a spoonful of the next bowl) COLD!!

_But the next was just right. So he ate it all up!_

(Deidara) NANI UN?!

EAT!!

(Deidara) . . . Tobi!!

(Tobi runs on stage) Yes Sempai?

(Deidara) Eat this un.

(Tobi) Ok! Tobi is a good boy!

(Tobi eats the porridge then falls down twitching)

(Gaara hugs his teddy tightly) That wasn't our porridge.. Honest Teddy. Don't worry. I'll protect you.

(Temari glares at him and drags Tobi away)

…. Anyway… _Next Deilocks decided to take a rest. So he went upstairs to the bedrooms and laid on the first bed. _

(Deidara jumps onto the first then quickly jumps out again) There's something in there un!

(The puppet crow sits up staring at Deidara)

…. _But the bed was already taken? _

(Deidara) Get lost un!

(The crow holds up its arm and points kunais at him)

(Deidara quickly throws a clay bird at him and the crow explodes)

(Kankuro) NOOOO!! MY BABY!!

… (sighs)

(Deidara lays back on the bed) Comfy un.

_But just as Deilocks was going to sleep, the three sand nins came home. _

(Temari drags a crying Kankuro back on the stage, with Gaara following them)

_The sand nins noticed that someone had broke into their house!_

(Temari holds her hands to her mouth in shock) Oh no! My precious porridge!

(Kankuro) NOOOOOOO!! CROW!! WHY?! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME!!

(Gaara) . . . . . . If he touched my teddies he's dead.

(Deidara sits up annoyed) Who dares interrupt my nap un?!

_. . . . _Crud.

(Deidara makes a larger clay spider) You'll pay for that!!

…. Well I hope you enjoyed the tale of Deilocks and the three sand nins. I have to go now.. But I'll be back for the next tale! … If there's any stage left over. (runs off quickly)


	2. The Pervert and the Seven Ninjas

(Sits back down upon the stage with the giant book) Hello everyone and welcome back to Kaiyo's Bedtime Tales! Today, I will be reading to you the tale of The Pervert and the Seven Little Ninjas. (Opens book and reads)

_There was once upon a time a Sensei who had seven little ninjas, and loved them with all the love of a mother for her children._

(Kakashi walks onto the stage, dressed with the apron and his hair in curlers. Lee, Naruto, Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Shikimaru and Neji follow him.)

_One day he wanted to go into the forest and fetch some food. So he called all seven ninjas and said, _

(Kakashi looks up from his book lazily) I have to go into the forest. Keep your guard on for the Pervert that stalks all little boys. He often disguises himself, but you will know him at once by his girly voice and his snake tongue.

(Ninjas) We can easily see through his disguises! We'll be safe.

(Kakashi rises his eyebrows in disbelief and vanishes into smoke)

_It was not long before some one knocked at the house door._

(Orochimaru chuckles evilly as he knocks on the door) Ku Ku Ku, Open the door, dear children, your Sensei is here, and has brought something back for each of you.

(Naruto screams and hides behind the sofa) IT'S HIM!!

_But the little ninjas knew that it was the pervert, by the girly voice. _

(Sasuke rolls his eyes) Yeah right.

Say it properly!!

(Shikamaru sighs) Oh man, what a drag.

(Rock Lee stands up proudly as he shouts) We will not open the door. You are not our Sensei!! For you have a girly voice and our Sensei does not!

(Somewhere behind stage Gai wipes his eyes) I'm so proud!

_Then the pervert went away to a shopkeeper and bought himself a great lump of chalk, ate this and made his voice rougher with it. _

(Orochimaru shallows a marshmallow whole using his tongue and knocks on the door again) Ku Ku Ku, Open the door, dear children, your Sensei is here and has brought something back for each of you.

_But the Ninjas knew it wasn't their Sensei. _

(Shino calls back his bugs) That isn't the Sensei. How do I know? Because he has a serpent's tongue.

(Neji) I foresee failure in your future Pervert.

READ THE LINES PROPERLY!!

(Lee stands back up and points to the door) We will not open the door; our Sensei does not have a snake's tongue! He wears a mask! You are the Pervert!!

(Orochimaru runs off stage and walks back with black paint over his face)

_For the third time, the Pervert knocked on the door._

(Orochimaru chuckles and knocks) Ku Ku Ku, Open the door for me, children, your Sensei has come home, and has brought every one of you something back for each of you.

_But yet again, the Ninjas knew it wasn't their Sensei!_

(Kiba shouts) YOU'RE NOT KAKASHI-SENSEI! You smell nothing like him! (Akamaru barks then growls)

(Naruto nods) Kakashi-Sensei smells of old man!

(Orochimaru runs off again and comes back smelling off soap) Open the door, dear children, your Sensei is here and has brought something back for each of you. A tasty meal of ramen!

_And the ninjas believed him! So they opened the door._

(Ninjas look at each other and shrugs. Naruto jumps forward and opens the door) RAMEN?!

_Then the Pervert attacked!_

(Orochimaru jumps into the room laughing evilly while the Ninjas screamed and ran around.)

(Sasuke) NOT HIM AGAIN!! (Hides under the table)

(Neji) I was joking about the failure!! (Hides in the bed)

(Kiba) AND YOU SMELL JUST FINE!! (Crawls into the shove)

(Lee) I ALWAYS LIKED YOU!! (Hides in the kitchen)

(Shino) . . . (Hides behind the sofa)

(Shikamaru sits in a chair) Trying to hide… How troublesome.

(Naruto hides in the clock)

_The Pervert found all but the youngest. He walked off happily, pulling each ninja by a specially made lead._

(Orochimaru ties them all up with rope and crawls them along the stage laughing evilly) Ku ku ku!!

_But the little ninjas were too heavy for him to carry all the way home, so he decided to take a rest while the ninjas stayed tied to a tree._

(Orochimaru) But!!

REST!!

(Orochimaru ties them to a stage tree and sits down beside it pretending to sleep)

_Soon afterwards, the Sensei arrived back home from the shops and noticed the front door was wide opened. _

(Kakashi appears reading his new book. He looked up and walked inside) Yo, Ninjas! Sorry I'm late; I got lost on the road of life.

_He got no reply, so he searched the house for the Seven Little Ninjas._

(Kakashi sighed and put his book away) Sasuke? Neji? Lee? Shino? Shikamaru? Kiba? Naruto?

_At last, when he called out for the smallest, he heard a voice from the clock._

(Naruto) KAKASHI-SENSEI YOU OWE ME FOR THIS!

Read your lines properly for the last time!

(Naruto grumbles and he falls out of the clock) THE PERVERT CAME INSIDE THE HOUSE AND TOOK EVERYONE!

(Kakashi) … you mean you let him in because he promised you ramen, didn't you?

(Naruto rubs his neck nervously) Maybe…

_So the Sensei and the smallest little Ninja went out and searched for the Pervert. Soon they found him, resting comfortably by the tree._

(Orochimaru sucks his thumb in his sleep while hugging a Sasuke Plushie)

(Sasuke looks sick and ready to faint)

_The rope that had tied his Ninjas to the tree was to tight to be undone, so he decided to cut it._

(Kakashi holds his wrist and forms Chidori and charges at the tree)

_But at that the Pervert had awaken!_

(Orochimaru stands back up yawning) Now for my fun!

(Kakashi sends his Chidori into Orochimaru)

…That wasn't in the script.

(Orochimaru falls down dead and the rope is broken, freeing the ninjas)

(Naruto) NOW TIME TO GET SOME RAMEN!!

(Sasuke's eye twitches and he storms off) DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I WAS NEARLY RAPED BY THAT THING?!

… I think we better end it there before a fight breaks out.

(Closes book and smiles) Well that's all for today, hope you enjoyed this bedtime tale and look out for the next one!


	3. Sleeping Blondie Part 1

(Skips in with the large book) Hello everyone! It's me again! (Sits down on the chair) You all know why I'm here! (Grins and waves) I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and saved this to their story alerts and such. (Anime tears) I'm so happy.

(Pein) Just get the story started so we can finish this!

Way to ruin the moment! (Opens the book) Okay, this one was requested by GoodBoyTobi. It's called, Sleeping Blondie!

_Once upon a time there was a King Stefan and his Queen, who really wanted to have a daughter. _

(Itachi walks on stage dressed in a crown and cape, shortly followed by Konan who was also wearing a crown)

Hey! Itachi that isn't the character I picked for you!

(Itachi) I swapped with Tobi. I wanted a smaller part.

(Grumbles) Fine.

(Konan raises her hand to her head dramatically) Woe is me, how I long for a baby girl to hold in my arms!

(Itachi holds up the script and reads monotone) Don't worry my Queen. We will have one, and she will be next to take over the throne.

(Pein from off stage) Try anything to her Itachi and your dead!

_At last, the royal couple was blessed with a beautiful baby girl._

(Konan hugs a doll) My daughter! We shall name her Aurora !

(Itachi) . . . (Looks back at the script) … Let's hold a feast in her honour.

_At the feast were King Huburt and his son, Phillip. _

(Kisame walks on in cape and crown) Behold! I am King Huburt!

THAT'S HIDAN'S CHARACTER!

(Kisame whines) But I wanted to be king!!

(Sasori follows him looking bored) I'm Prince Phillip.

(Grumbles again) Anyway..

_Both Kings decided that one day, Phillip and Aurora will be married._

(Itachi reads the script) … Then our Kingdoms will be united

(Kisame) And we will watch in happiness as they both rule!!

_There were other guests at the feast too. Three good fairies called Flora…_

(Pein walks on with a wand and fairy wings) … My gift to the brat will be beauty. For I am God and have that power!

_And Fauna,_

(Zetsu walks on stage)

Where's your outfit?!

(Zetsu) … I got hungry.

….. Damn plants. Say your lines then!

(Zetsu) I gift to the child is Song. Cause I like singing.

_And Merryweather!_

(Hidan walks on with wings and a his scythe that wore a star on the end)

_But before Merryweather could give the child a gift, the lights suddenly went out as a green glow appeared!_

(Hidan) WHAT?! YOU STUPID MOTHER F! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME!!

_The glow suddenly grew, bigger and bigger, as the last and most evil fairy appeared. _

(Tobi runs on the stage in his cloak with a staff, laughing evilly as lightning strikes around him)

(Itachi looks back down at his script and read out emotionlessly) Oh no, it's Maleficent.

(Tobi laughs evilly) TOBI IS A BAD BOY!!

_Maleficent was furious that she wasn't invited to the feast! So she gave the child her own gift._

(Tobi raises his staff and yelled) I, too, have a gift for the newborn baby!! She will grow to be graceful and beautiful. But before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel...and die!!

_And with one last evil laugh, the witch vanished._

(Tobi laughs again as thunder echoes around him and vanishes on the spot.)

_The King and Queen were depressed, but Merryweather still had one last gift. _

(Itachi reads of the script again, with no emotion) Oh dear. What ever shall we do?

(Konan cries out and pretends to weep) My poor baby!

(Hidan waves his scythe around) This brat will be the perfect sacrifice for Jashin!

HIDAN! STAY YOUR LINES!!

(Hidan swears loudly) Like hell if I'm going to sing!

... Just say it then.

(Hidan swears again) If through this witch's trick. A spindle should your finger prick. Not in death, but just in sleep. The fateful prophecy you'll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake. When true love's kiss the spell shall break.

_But the King and Queen were still worried, so they had every spinning wheels burnt and ordered the fairies to take their baby girl away, so Maleficent will never find her. _

(Konan weeps as she hands the baby to Pein) Take good care of her.

(Zetsu watches to the doll hungrily) we will.

(Closes book) that's all we have for the Sleeping Blondie part 1! Get ready for part 2! It will be out really soon!


	4. Sleeping Blondie Part 2

(skips onto the stage with the book) welcome back everyone! (grins and sits down) Today it's the second part of the Sleeping Blondie which was requested by GoodBoyTobi! (opens book)

_The years had passed quietly since the evil witch had cursed the princess. The fairies had all disguised themselves as peasant women and called the girl Briar Rose. _

(Deidara walks on stage, looking annoyed and with a flower in his hair) Why do I have another girl's part un?!

.. Cause you look more of the part.

(Deidara glares) …

_On her 16 birthday the fairies sent her away to the woods while they made a surprise party. _

(Pein holds out a basket) get some berries or don't bother coming back.

(Deidara) but you don't like berries un!

(Hidan) It's either that or you feed you to Zetsu you slut.

(Zetsu) … I like the juicy ones.

(Deidara walks off quickly with basket)

_In the woods, Briar Rose told the animals and birds about her dream, in which she met a tall and handsome prince as she sung. _

(Deidara sits on the edge of the stage with his clay pets around him) and he was an artist un!

_But then a young man came pass on his horse, and he heard Briar Rose singing. _

(Sasori covers his ears as he walked on the stage) Unfortunately I can.

_He hid in the bushes watching her then suddenly took hold of her hand. Briar Rose was scared._

(Sasori kicks the clay away and stands beside Deidara)

(Deidara pretends to scream)

(Sasori) you call that art?

Lines Sasori!

(Sasori grumbles) Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, But I feel as if we've met before.

_After singing and dancing together, Briar Rose went back to the cottage and told them of man she had fallen in love with._

(Deidara and Sasori) I'M NOT DANCING WITH HIM (UN) !!

…. Good point.. I'm no Yaoi fan. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE SASORI!!

(Sasori runs off stage)

(Deidara walks back to the 'fairies')

(Deidara) I met a dude in the forest today.

(Zetsu) So? I eat lots of people in the woods.

(Pein) You moron.

(Hidan) That's my line!

_They told her the truth at last-that she was a royal princess, promised at birth to be married to a prince. Now it was time for her to return home. So Aurora had to left, upset that she would never met the man again. _

(Deidara) A princess?!

(Hidan) Was it the crown that gave it away you prick?

(Pein) Just get going before I get annoyed.

(They walk off to the other side of the stage)

_But watching them nearby was Maleficent's raven. He had heard everything and raced of to tell the evil fairy. _

(Kakuzu walks on waving his arms around) I'm getting paid £100 for this!

(Tobi appears sitting on a black throne, laughing evilly) I'm such a bad boy!

(Kakuzu 'flies' over to Tobi) The princess is found!

(Tobi stands back up, his staff held tightly in his hand) NOW I WILL COMPLETE MY REVENGE!! (lightning flashes around him)

(Kakuzu) …. How does he do that?

_Back in the castle, Aurora was united with her parents._

(Konan rushes on and throws her arms around Deidara) My baby girl is all grown up!!

(Itachi follows her) … joy

(Pein glares in envy at Deidara)

_They were planning a 16__th__ party for her, so they sent her to her room to get ready. _

(Deidara sits back on the stage as the others walk off)

_But just then, Maleficent appeared! And lured the princess to the tallest tower where a spinning wheel was._

(Tobi appears in front of Deidara, the end of his staff glowing)

(Tobi) I will have my revenge!!

(Deidara) … what did I ever do un?!

(Tobi) You didn't let me paint your room pink!

_Maleficent tricked the princess into touching the spinning wheel._

(Deidara looks around) But there isn't any.

(Tobi hits Deidara over the head with his staff, knocking Deidara out cold)

…. That will work.

(Tobi laughs evilly and vanishes)

_The three good fairies rushed to the rescue but they were too late. Aurora had touched the sharp spindle and fallen to the floor in a deep sleep and Maleficent had vanished._

(Pein, Hidan and Zetsu walk back on and poke the unconscious Deidara)

(Pein) Great.. Now what do we do?

(Zetsu) Lets eat him un.

(Hidan) No! Let's sacrifice him to Jashin!

….. Keep to your lines!!

(Pein rolls his eyes) Fine, let's put everyone asleep so they won't find out.

(Hidan) … (Holds up his scythe and walks back towards Konan and Itachi)

(Pein stops him glaring) Don't you dare hurt her.

_Meanwhile, the witch had captured Phillip and chained him in her dungeon._

(Tobi grins as he burns a small puppet in front of Sasori) To think that in the top most tower of King Stefan 's castle is the sleeping Princess Aurora, who, as Briar Rose, won your heart yesterday. She can be awakened only by her true love's kiss-but you'll never find her!!

…. That's just cruel Tobi.

_Maleficent laughed evilly as she went out. Soon after she had gone, the fairies suddenly appeared in the dungeon. They magically freed Prince Phillip from his chains!_

(Tobi stamps his foot) Not fair !!

(Hidan swears and drags Sasori along the stage)

_Arming Phillip with weapons, the fairies sent him racing to the castle, to awaken the princess. _

(Zetsu) Don't worry, if you die, I'll make sure you get a good funeral.

(Pein) … but he's a wooden puppet.

(Zetsu) …… mmmmmm

_The witch saw Phillip escaping and tried to stop him. She hurled boulders at him, but the brave prince rode on. _

(Tobi throws marshmallows at Sasori) DIE DIE DIE!!

(Sasori) ….

_When Phillip reached Aurora 's castle, Maleficent caused a forest of thorns to grow up all around it._

(Kakuzu spreads his arms in front of Deidara)

(Sasori) … (uses his chakra stings to throw Kakuzu out of the way)

_In a rage, the witch soared to the top of the highest tower and transformed into a large black dragon. _

(Tobi jumps out, with a flamethrower) DIE PRINCE PUPPET!!

(Pein throws something at Sasori) just this Sword of Truth!

(Sasori points the hose at Tobi and Hidan turns it on)

(Tobi is sent flying back and hits the wall)

_Maleficent was no more._ _Phillip raced to the tower where his love lay sleeping. Gently he kissed her. Aurora 's eyes slowly opened. She was awake! _

(Sasori walks back over to Deidara and soaks him with the hose)

(Deidara sits up choking)

_And at that same time, so did everyone else! The Kings were pleased when they saw their children together and called for a wedding to happen at once. _

(Konan and Itachi walks back with Kisame)

(Kisame) My son is to be married now!!

(Konan) Our dreams are coming true!

(Itachi) ….

_And they lived happily ever after._

(Tobi weeps on the floor) Tobi promises to be a good boy from now on!


	5. The Three Billy Goat Youths

(skips onto stage with the book) hello again everyone! (sits down grinning) It seems like most of you want me to do a Cinderella one, which I will do… after I sorted out who will be what character… (laughs nervously) since someone almost blew me up when I suggested that he plays the main role again…

(Deidara from back stage) I'M NO GIRL UN!

Yeah… (opens book) so today it's the story of the Three Billy Goat Youths.

_Once upon a time there were three Billy Goat Youths. There was a baby goat_

(TenTen skips on stage wearing tiny horns) I'm the cute baby goat!

_And a medium goat_

(Rock Lee rushes on stage, also wearing horns) I am the Medium goat!

_And the biggest goat of them all_

(Neji walks onto stage with large horns) …. Your destiny will be death if you make me do this again

….. Right…

_One day they noticed how their small field of grass was fading and growing bare._

(Lee points to the other side of the stage) SWEET LOVELY GRASS FOR US TO EAT!!

(TenTen) Let's go! (rushes across the stage) Trip, trap, trip, trap!

_But as the youngest was nearly across, a giant troll suddenly appeared!_

(Gai suddenly appears in front of TenTen) Hey there young one! You can only get to the grass if you are able to pass me first!

…. Try and sound like an evil troll.

(Gai) I haven't finished yet! The task will be hard!

(TenTen steps back wide eyed) What is it?

(Gai) You will have to show your youthfulness by giving me a hug!

(Neji)………RUN TENTEN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!

(TenTen freezes) w-w-what?!

(Gai opens his arms and grins)

(TenTen screams and runs around him, and out of the stage room)

……

(Gai) Now that's youthful!

…_..The second medium goat saw the first one pass and decided to walk across the bridge. _

_Trip, trap, trip, trap!_

(Rock Lee stands in front of Gai, saluting him) I am ready for you test Gai-Sensei!

(Gai becomes tearful) I'm so proud of you Lee

(Lee also becomes tearful) Gai-Sensei!

(They hug each other tightly as waves crash around them in the sunset)

…………. I will never understand boys.

(Gai) run into the sunset Lee! Find that green green grass, but don't get your horns messed up. (thumbs up and teeth shine)

(Lee) HAI!! (runs off the stage)

…. Freaks. FREEEEEAKS!

_But just then up came the big Billy Goat Youth _

(Neji walks across the stage) Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap

(Gai appears) Now Big Billy Goat Youth, are you already for my test of the ultimate youth?!

(Neji's eye twitches)

(Gai throws open his arms) hug!!

………….

(Gai grins) Fine, I'll hug you!! (runs at Neji)

o.o …

(Neji uses his 64 chakra points on Gai before walking away casually leaving a depressed Gai weeping on the stage)

….. _and they lived happily ever after?_


	6. Three Little Genin and the White Fang

(almost trips over as I run onto the stage) hiya everyone! I had an idea! (grins widely as I sit down) what I'll do is, I'll have 2 short tales and then I have a longer one like the Sleeping Blondie! This means… (throws arms in air) the next chapter will be the Cinderella one!

(crickets heard in the silence)

…. Well I thought it was a good idea… (opens book) Today's tale is of the three little Genin and the big bad White Fang!

_Once upon a time there were three little Genin and the time came for them to leave the academy and become real ninjas! _

(Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke walks onto stage, each wearing pink noses and tails while Iruka waves them goodbye tearfully)

(Naruto) ALRIGHT! LETS GO!!

_Before they left they were warned about the big bad White Fang, who would try to send them back to the academy if they failed the mission of building an unbreakable house!_

(Naruto goes wide eyed) Back to the academy?! NOOOOOOOO!!

(Sakura hits him on the head) CHA! So don't mess up!

(Sasuke rolls his eyes) you moron

_The first little Genin built his house out of straw because it was the easiest thing to do._

(Naruto grins widely as he sticks hay to the wall) Kakashi-Sensei won't attack me in this! He's a scarecrow so won't attack his own kind!

_The second little Genin built his house out of sticks. This was a little bit stronger than a straw house._

(Sakura holds up some sticks) The forest is filled with them, and they're stronger than whatever Naruto will be using!

_The third little Genin built his house out of bricks._

(Sasuke struggles to drag a bag of stones across the stage)

_They had each built their homes by nightfall and went to bed falling safe and confident in their work._

(Naruto lies in the straw bed snoring loudly)

(Sakura's eye twitched as she threw one of Sasuke's stone at him)

_But that night, the big bad White Fang arrived! _

(Kakashi walks onto stage with wolf ears and tail.)

_He crept up to the First Genin's house and cried-!_

(Kakashi stands in front of Naruto's house and looks up from his pink book) Let me in little Genin or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house down!

(Naruto sits up awake and yells) NOT BY THE HAIR OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN! BELIEVE IT!!

_So the big bad White Fang forced his way into the house!_

( Kakashi sighs and knocks upon Naruto's door only to see it collapse. He sneezes from the hay and Naruto jumps out of the window)

_The first Genin rushed off quickly to the second Genin's house_

(Naruto) I'M NEVER GOING BACK TO THE ACADEMY!

(He runs off and bangs on Sakura's door)

(Naruto) Sakura-Chan! Let me in please!!

_The White Fang followed the first Genin to the Second Genin's house, with an evil grin on his face. _

(Kakashi follows Naruto silently, blushing slightly as he read his book)

(Naruto bangs louder on the door) SAKURA-CHAN!!

(Sakura opens the door annoyed) BAKA! You lead him straight here!

(Naruto runs inside as Kakashi stands outside looking at the stick house)

(Kakashi) Let me in, little Genin, or I'll huff and I'll puff and burn your house down!

(Sakura and Naruto) NOT BY THE HAIR OF OUR CHINNY CHIN CHIN!!

(Naruto glances at Sakura) but Sakura-Chan, you don't have any hair on your chin… you're a girl.

(Sakura punches Naruto through the house, causing it to fall down) BAKA!!

_Before the White Fang could eat them up, the two Genin rushed inside the brick house that belonged to the third Genin._

(Sasuke opens the door glaring angrily as Sakura and Naruto run inside. Kakashi stands outside peering up at the brick house)

(Kakashi) let me in little Genin, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house down!

(Genin) Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!

_So the White Fang huffed and puffed but couldn't blow the house down!_

(Kakashi) I'm not stupid enough to try, it's made of brick.

…… and the stage will catch fire……

_Because he was a clever White Fang, he climbed to the top of the house and jumped inside through the chimney! However the third Genin saw him and had an idea!_

(Sasuke spots Kakashi climbing up the house) Get a large pot boiling underneath the chimney!!

(Sakura screams and faints as Naruto looks through the kitchen cupboards) Great idea! We'll fatten him up!! What shall we feed him?! Not the ramen!!

(Sasuke) …… (watches as Kakashi appears inside) … Bakas.

_The White Fang had got inside and it was too late for the Genins!!_

(Naruto throws the pot at Kakashi) It's never too late! Believe it!!

(Kakashi's clone vanishes as the real one stays sitting backstage reading his book)

(Naruto) WE DID IT!! WE DID IT!!

(Sasuke smirks as Sakura wakes)

…. And they lived happily ever after!! (closes book and Naruto runs around)

(Naruto) WE DID IT!!


	7. Shyderella Part 1

(skips onto stage and sits down) hi everyone! Well today is the story that everyone has been requesting! (hits head on book) unfortunately … I have had a lot of problems recently, so haven't updated any of my stories, so I'm sorry for the long wait. (opens the book) Today's story is called, Shyderella!

_Once upon a time there was a young beautiful girl, who's mother had passed away when she was very young._

(Hinata walks onto stage, bright red and fiddling with her fingers nervously)

_Her father had married a cruel woman who had two daughters of her own, who were both very selfish. But one day, he died, leaving Shyderella with her stepmother. _

(Temari walks onto the stage)

(Temari) Finally! My time to be cruel!!

(Kankuro from backstage) … err…

(Temari holds up the spoon and glares) Don't say anything or I'll bring back the porridge!

(Kankuro gulps and hides behind Gaara)

(Sakura and Ino walks onto stage, pushing each other)

(Ino) Watch where you're going Big Brow!

(Sakura) Shut up Ino-Pig!!

Great acting!

(Ino and Sakura) acting?!

_The stepmother and stepsisters treated Shyderella like a slave and took away all her nice clothes and replaced them with rags._

(Temari throws some tattered rags at Hinata) Be lucky you get them!

(Kankuro shouts) YEAH! SHE CAN DO A LOT WORSE!! (he shudders as memories flood back)

KANKURO STAY OUT OF THIS!

(Gaara uses his sand to gag Kankuro)

(Kankuro slowly turns purple)

_One day while Shyderella was cleaning, somebody knocked on the door. It was the King's messenger!_

(Kiba walks onto stage with a scroll) By orders of the King; every fair maiden in the kingdom shall attended the royal ball held tonight in the Prince's honour!

(Ino and Sakura scream) THE PRINCE!! WE GET TO MEET THE PRINCE!!

_Shyderella wanted to go as well, but her evil Stepmother didn't want the Prince to meet her, cause she knew that Shyderella was beautiful unlike her two daughters._

(Hinata) T-The Prince? (she turns pink) I would.. Err… love to.. Meet the Prince

(Temari) YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PRINCE!!

_So Shyderella was given extra work to do while the Stepmother and two ugly Stepsisters went to the ball._

(Temari throws toothbrushes onto the ground) I want this whole stage spotless when I get back!

Where did you get so many?

(Temari) There's a dozen unused ones in Naruto's room.

.. Ew

(Temari, Ino and Sakura walk off stage, while Hinata sat on the floor upset)

_She cried and cried till suddenly she noticed several glowing orbs floating around her. All of a sudden, a woman appeared in front of her!_

(Naruto jumps onto the stage with a wand) I'M YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER!!

_I mean, all of a sudden, a male appeared in front of her! It was her fairy godfather!_

(Naruto) … Godfather? (Quickly transforms so he's wearing mafia clothes and replaces wand with a gun)

Not with that sort of godfather!

(Naruto holds up his gun) Alright Shyderella, who shall I take care of for you?

(Hinata blushes) Well … err… I just… well I … just wanted to .. Err … go to the ball

(Naruto) I'll charge extra for the transport, but you can have the dress for free.

(Hinata) But.. What about… umm.. All this… cleaning.

(Naruto) No problem!

(He holds the gun into air and fires it)

(Akatsuki runs onto the stage, some dressed in wings, while others are wearing mouse ears and tails)

(Naruto) Time to clean my evil gang!

(Pein) Since when do take orders from him?!

Just play along…

(Pein grumbles and starts scrubbing the floor with the others)

(Tobi grins and holds takes the toothbrushes) Tobi is a good boy again!

(Hinata) How are we umm… going to err.. Get there?

(Naruto forms hand signs and places his hand on the ground) SUMMONING JUTSU!

(A large frog appears and Naruto jumps on top and offers his hand to Hinata) You shall go to the ball!

(Hinata turns even redder as she glances at his hand and faints)

(Hidan throws his toothbrush to the ground) I JUST CLEANED THERE!!

… damn

(Naruto quickly picks up Hinata and the frog hops off with Hidan chasing them with his scythe)

(Hidan) I'LL KILL YOU FOR RUINING MY CLEAN FLOOR!!

(closes book and laughs nervously) Well there's part 1 of the Shyderella. Part 2 will come out soon… if they're still alive.


	8. Shyderella Part 2

(runs onto stage, almost tripping over own feet) hey again! Sorry for not updating… We have been having some problems backstage. Someone is spying in the girls dressing room! And they have refused to act until that person is found…

(Naruto characters all look suspicious at each other)

Anyway, if anyone knows who could be the spy, please say in the reviews and I will gang up all of suspects for the next chapter, which I will try to make as embarrassing as possible!

(Naruto guys gulp)

(opens book) Today's story is Shyderella part 2!

_Shyderella had just arrived at the ball with her fairy godfather. She was really excited, but then noticed something was horribly wrong!_

(Large frog appear on stage, carrying Hinata and Naruto. The frog vanishes as they climb off)

(Naruto) Welcome to the ball!

(Hinata fiddles with her fingers) But.. Um.. I'll need a… well, I'll need a dress

(Naruto grins) No problem! (He performs hand-signs and summons a silvery dress)

(Hinata looks at the dress blushing) How… Do I know it fits?

(Naruto performs more hand-signs and transforms into the sexy jutsu)

… … …

(Naruto holds up dress in front of him/her) It fits!

(Jiraiya suddenly runs onto stage, drooling) THERE YOU ARE MY DARLING!!

(Naruto quickly throws the dress at Hinata and runs) THE DRESS IS FREE!!

(Jiraiya chases after him) COME BACK AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN!!

(Hinata picks up the dress) I'll umm… just get changed then, (walks off stage)

(Jiraiya winks and tip toes after her)

… … … Anyway…

_Meanwhile, the evil step-mother and step-sisters was standing in the ballroom, waiting to be introduced to the Prince._

(Temari, Sakura and Ino walk onto the stage wearing ball gowns)

(Sakura giggles) I can't wait to meet the Prince! He's going to fall for me, I just know it!

(Ino glares) In your dreams, Big brow!

(Sakura glares back) SHUT UP INO-PIG!

(Kiba walks onto stage with a large scroll) Everyone shut up! Here comes the almighty, handsome and -

… carry on

(Kiba tosses the scroll away) yeah right, here comes the big head brat, Prince Sasuke!

(Sakura and Ino scream in delight)

(Sasuke walks onto stage, wearing ancient posh clothes and a scowl) Why do I have to play this part?

Cause, I like to ruin your image.

(Sasuke glares angrily as Sakura and Ino cling onto his arms)

_At that very moment, Shyderella entered the ball wearing her silvery dress. The Prince was stunned that anyone could be that beautiful. _

(Hinata walks back onto stage wearing the bright silver dress)

(Sasuke covers his eyes and yells) I'M BLIND!! NOW I KNOW HOW MY BROTHER FEELS!! BLIIIIIIIIND!!

Keep to the lines!

(Sasuke places on a pair of sunglasses causing Ino and Sakura to faint) That's better… Do you want to dance with me?

(Hinata nods and blushes darkly as they start to dance)

(Temari pours her porridge over Sakura and Ino. They both wake up screaming)

(Ino) What happened?!

(Temari) Sasuke is dancing with Hinata

(Ino and Sakura) WHAT?!

(Hinata glances over at them and quickly steps back from Sasuke) Umm…

(Sakura and Ino walk over, glaring angrily)

(Hinata runs off with them chasing her, leaving one of her shoes behind)

_The Prince watched helplessly as the girl vanished. But then he noticed the shoe and made a new law._

(Sasuke picks up the shoe) … My new law shall be, every stalker will be banished from this land forever.

… stick to the lines.

(Sasuke glares) Fine. I want every girl in the kingdom to try on this shoe. Whoever fits it will be my bride.

(Kiba and Sasuke walk off stage)

_However, when Shyderella got back home, her Step-Mother had noticed that she was the girl from the ball! And at that moment the King's servant had arrived with the shoe._

(Temari quickly locks Hinata out of the room) Problem sorted!

(Hinata sits down and pretends to cry)

(Temari laughs evilly and walks over to Kiba who is holding the shoe)

(Pein from offstage) … Hire her for Akatsuki.

_So Shyderella was trapped in the tower, but luckily, her fairy Godfather had a plan!_

(Naruto runs on and holds his gun in the air and fires it)

(Akatsuki walks back on stage looking disgruntled)

(Naruto) Go fetch the key to free her!

(Pein) Get it yourself.

(Hidan) I got a better idea! (he picks up Naruto and throws him into the door, breaking it) REVENGE FOR RUINING MY FLOOR!

… ouch.

_When the door was opened, Shyderella ran straight downstairs before the servant could leave._

(Hinata looks down at Naruto) N-Naruto-Kun…

(Itachi picks up the unconscious Naruto) Don't worry… he'll be safe with us.

(Hinata nods and runs over to Kiba) Wait… that glass shoe is mine.

(Kiba hands her the shoe and she tries it on)

_And the shoe fits!! The servant took her back to the Prince and they were married the very next day!_

(Sakura and Ino rub their fists into their hands, a deadly glare on their faces) Nani?

… (closes book) I mean…

(Stage owner walks in) Miss Kaiyo, there are several girls outside claiming that they all missing a silver shoe and you have it.

… (looks out of window to see miles of fan girls) …. (throws Sasuke at them and runs to freedom)

**Author's Note Gah! I hate this chapter! TT I can't seem to keep this funny anymore. This series may end soon if I can't think of anything new**


	9. 10 in the Bed

(runs onto stage, holding a brand new book) HELLO EVERYONE!! I know it's been a long time…

(Naruto) YOU KEPT US LOCKED UP FOR A WHOLE MONTH!!

Wow… that was long. Sorry!!

(Naruto characters grumble)

Anyway… (holds up the new book) I HAVE A NEW IDEA!! Cause I am losing my touch with the bedtime tales -

(Sasuke) You're going to stop and let us go?.

…. Nope!! I am going to do Nursery Rhymes for a while!

(Naruto characters groan)

And the first nursery rhyme will be the classic, 10 in a bed!! Which will be preformed by the one and only… AKATSUKI!

(curtain opens to reveal 10 Akatsuki members all laying in a bed)

(Pein glares angrily) Why us?

Causeeveryonelovesmakingfunoutofyou. I mean… You're my best actors!!

(Akatsuki) ...

Now lets begin!! (opens book)

_There were 10 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi screams) THERE'S A SNAKE IN HERE!!

(Orochimaru's eyes shine) Where?!

(Tobi) Tobi don't know! Something long and slimy wiggled into my pocket!

(Konan shivers) Perverts!! (She runs off screaming)

_There were 9 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi) Was it something I said?

(Itachi peers around) I can feel it now…

(Pein) KONAN!! COME BACK!! (he runs after her)

_There were 8 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Itachi takes hold of a tentacle that has money tightly held in its grip) Kakuzu has been stealing again

(Tobi) Kakuzu is a bad boy!

(Itachi tosses Kakuzu out of the bed)

_There were 7 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Hidan searches his pockets) That cheap son of a (beep) stole my candy bar!!

(he picks up his scythe that was beside the bed and chases after Kakuzu while swearing loudly) GET BACK HERE YOU (beeeeeeeep)

_There were 6 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi clings to Deidara's arm) Tobi is getting sleepy!

(Deidara tries to pull away) GET OFF ME UN!!

(Kisame chuckles) Isn't that cute?

(Deidara growls and opens his fist to reveal a small clay bird)

(Kisame suddenly runs off with the bird chasing him)

_There were 5 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi cuddles against Deidara)

(Zetsu's stomach growls loudly) **Must have food…**

(Orochimaru looks over at Itachi) Hey Itachi-Kun, Maybe we should cuddle!

(The clay bird suddenly blew up from backstage)

(Zetsu sits up and walks off) **Food!!**

_There were 4 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Itachi glares at Orochimaru and turns on his Mangekyou Sharingan)

(Orochimaru suddenly screams and runs off) HOW DARE THEY!

(Deidara) What did you do to him?

(Itachi) …. Showed his pictures of his worst nightmare

(Deidara) … ?

(Itachi) … Sasuke going out with Kabuto instead

_There were 3 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi starts snoring loudly)

(Deidara clings to Itachi) MAKE HIM STOP UN!!

(Itachi pulls out of Deidara's grip) I need to do my hair… (he walks off)

_There were 2 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Deidara starts hitting Tobi with a pillow) GET OFF ME UN!!

(Tobi yawns and rolls over, kicking Deidara off the bed)

_There were 1 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over". So they all rolled over and one fell out!!_

(Tobi hugs the pillow and sucks his thumb in his sleep) zzz zzz zzzz

(Deidara stands back up, his eye twitching dangerous) WAKE UP TIME UN! (he creates a large clay bird with lands upon the bed)

… (quickly runs backstage)

(clay bird blows up, causing Tobi to flew into the air)

(Tobi snores loudly)

(Zetsu walks back onto stage) **Dessert!!**


	10. Jack and Jill & Itsy Witsy Spider

(cartwheels onto stage and lands on the chair) GOOD DAY TO ALL READERS OUT THERE!

(audience) Get on with it!

… Okay, well to help me with today's nursery rhymes are

(sudden dramatic music fills the room. Three different colours of smoke quickly follows)

(Audience starts choking) What the !

(Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi appears choking as the smoke clears)

(Konohamaru looks up and quickly strike his pose) We're the new assistants!

(Audience) ……

(hands them a hose) This is the secret weapon! (laughs evilly)

(Tobi screams from backstage) NOOO!! NOT THAT AGAIN!!

(opens the book) today will have two nursery rhymes. The first was requested by Twilit Angel and Jao. It's called Jack and Jill with Naruto and Sakura!

(Naruto walks onto stage with Sakura, both wearing brown and grey cotton outfits)

(Naruto) I feel like a moron in this!

.. Oh yeah, cause a ninja wearing bright orange isn't silly.

(Naruto grins) yeah! That would be silly!

… anyway…

_Jack and Jill went up the hill!_

(Naruto blushes) Sakura-Chan, want to hold my hand?

(Sakura's eye twitches as she walks pass him and up though the audience)

_To fetch a pail of water!_

(Naruto quickly runs up behind her as a fake well stands at the back of the audience)

(Sakura holds out the bucket to Naruto) Get the water then

(Naruto whines) But Sakura-Chan! You got more muscles than me!

(Sakura) … are you calling me fat?

(Naruto steps back quickly) No! I just meant you have a muscular body and -

(Sakura cracks her knuckles then hits Naruto) CHA!!

(Naruto falls down onto the stage with a large bump on his head)

_Jack fell down and broke his crown_

(Konohamaru and team appears out of the well)

(Konohamaru) Ready team!

(Moegi and Udon) READY!!

(they aim the hose at Sakura and turn it on)

(Sakura gets blasted back and lands on Naruto)

_And Jill came tumbling after! _

(Konohamaru) That's what happens when you harm Boss!!

(Audience glares at him as they too got soaked)

Okay… on with the second, requested by Jao. Which is Itsy Witsy Spider with Sasuke Uchiha!

(Sasuke walks onto stage with grumpy expression, while wearing a large spider outfit)

_Itsy Witsy Spider climbed up the water __spout!_

(Sasuke) No.

YES!

(Sasuke) No.

(glares) Prepare the hose!!

(Sasuke quickly starts coming up a pipe)

_Down came the rain and washed the spider out!_

(Konohamaru and team appears on top of pipe with the hose. They turn it on and sends Sasuke falling down to the ground)

_Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain!_

(Sasuke lands on the stage, and growls. He prepares hand-signs) Fire style! Fireball jutsu!!

(The three kids quickly run off screaming, just avoiding a large fireball)

_And the Itsy Witsy Spider climbed up the spout again!_

(Sasuke climbs back up the pipe, and chases after them. Naruto and Sakura quickly follow)

(Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon) HELP US BOSS!!

(Sasuke) I'll kill you for ruining my hair!!

(Naruto) I'm coming!!

(Sakura) Sasuke-kun! Wait for me!!

Umm… okay … I better go help them… Tune in next time for more!! (runs after them)


	11. Requested List

HELLO!! (hugs everyone) I am in a great mood now!! (hugs everyone again)

And yes.. You can guess why…

My stories have been deleted form that person's profile!

(gets out tissues) T.T I had no idea how loyal you all were and how much you all cared… (wipes eyes)

So I want to thank all of you for your support and help!!

(bear hugs!)

I love you all!!

(Gets hit upon the head by all Naruto characters) CUT IT OUT!!

(pouts) aww

(they glare)

Yeah… anyway… I decided that I could go back to going to doing stories… if I drink lots more of blue powerade!!

(Naruto characters scream and run)

o.O so… as a quick reminder to myself, and you all; here are all the requested stories/rhymes that I still have to do.

If anyone is still interested in any of these, and would really love to have them done, please say! and I shall try! I shall try for you all!!

And if you have any new ideas, share them!!

… … … …

(hugs again) WOOT!!

Kaiyo-Chan's List of Requested Stories/Rhymes;

**Little Red Riding Hood**

Nejihyugasfangirl

Lightning Blade

TRAV-kun

**Little Mermaid**

Lightning Blade_ (with Kisame)_

mewmewgodess

**Rapunzel**

Unicorn Sky Rider

Maya-chan2007

**Aladdin**

BreexItachi

**Snow White**

Envygreedgreenthunder _(with Naruto as Snow White)_

Maya-chan2007 _(with Akatsuki)_

twilit angel

**Baa Baa black sheep **

twilit angel

**Hansel and Gretel **

Deidaraismine _(with Sakura and Sasuke)_

twilit angel

**Alice in Wonderland**

Jao Ensatsu Kokuryuha

**Pinocchio**

Jao Ensatsu Kokuryuha

**Humpty Dumpty**

Lightning Blade

**Thumbelina**

twilit angel


	12. The Lollipop Tree

(waves from offstage) Hiya everyone!!! (pokes Deidara at the back of the head) Move it Pony!

(Deidara growls and carries me upon the stage, before dumping me upon the chair)

(Grins widely and shoos Deidara away)

(audience) …

(coughs) Yeah… Deidara has been working very hard and is willing to do anything so he doesn't get anymore main roles…

(Deidara sulks backstage) I'm no girl un!

And as you may notice, I haven't got my book this time. Mainly because.. Someone couldn't be bothered to carry that as well.. But also cause this Bedtime Tale will be based on a song!

(crickets echo)

… I know I have a long requested list, but when I hear this song… one person comes to my mind EVERYTIME!!! So I just had to do this!

(turns on radio) So, The main role in this will be taken by… Tobi!

(Tobi jumps onto stage) TOBI IS SPECIAL!!!

Hmm… right… And the song today is… Lollipop tree!

(Tobi) … Why does that song reminds you of me, Kaiyo-Chan?

…

(Tobi) …

… …

(Tobi) … …

And the background actors will be… the rest of Akatsuki!!!

(They all grumble as they walk back onto stage)

Woot! Let's start! (turns on the song)

_One fine day in early spring, I played a funny trick  
Right in the yard behind our house, I planted a lollipop stick_

(Tobi picks up a swirl orange lolly) I'm going to call him Tobi Junior!!

(Pein) Just bury it already so we can get this over with!

(Tobi pouts and buries the lolly in the nearest flowerpot)

_And every day I watered it well and watched it carefully  
I hoped one day that stick would grow to be a lollipop tree_

(Tobi kneels in front of the pot and pokes it) Come Junior! Come to Daddy!!!!

(Hidan) Let the (beep) thing grow already!!!

(Tobi cries) Sempai! Tobi Junior is taking a long time to grow!

(Deidara) That's why you shouldn't have called it after you un.

(Sasori freezes) Oh no.

(Pein grumbles) What is it now?

(Sasori) I have a feeling… a kind of… Kaiyo-Has-Found-Another-Way-To-Make-Us-Look-Like-Fools feeling

(Pein) …

(Sasori) …

(Hidan swears) For God's sake.

(Pein) Hey! Don't blame me!!

DUDES!! I'LL GET THE HOSE!!!!!!!

(Akatsuki quickly lines up and starts singing badly)

_Ah ha ha, ho ho ho, what a sight to see  
He and his lollipop lollipop lollipop  
Lolly lolly lollipop tree_

… Needs more work dudes.

(Hidan swears) Go to hell!

_Then one day I woke to find a very lovely sight  
A tree all full of lollipops had grown up in the night_

(Tobi lays crawled up on the bottom of the pot, still crying) Tobi Junior!!!

(The soil starts to move in the pot, as Zetsu slowly rises)

(Light Zetsu) … Sorry we're late.

(Dark Zetsu) **What the hell is going on?**

(Tobi's eye shines as he hugs Zetsu) TOBI JUNIOR!!!!

_I sat beneath that wonderful tree and looked up with a grin  
And when I opened up my mouth, a pop would drop right in _

(Tobi quickly lays on the floor and holds up his hands) RAINING LOLLIES!!!

(Zetsu) ???

(Tobi Junior slides from the top of Zetsu's head and lands on Tobi)

(Tobi) YEAH!!!!!!!!! (hugs it)

(Real Tobi Junior) …

More effect this time!!!

(Kisame) Or what?

(Konohamaru and his crew giggle evilly from the backstage, the hose held tightly in their hands)

(Kisame hides behind Itachi whimpering)

(Itachi) … wimp.

(Deidara scowls) Let's get this over with.

(Akatsuki links arms and starts doing the can can as they sung)

_Ah ha ha, ho ho ho, what a sight to see  
He and his lollipop lollipop lollipop  
Lolly lolly lollipop tree  
_

(quickly takes photos)

(Akatsuki glares)

(hides camera behind back and smiles innocently)

_Winter came and days grew cold as winter days will do  
On my tree, my lovely tree, not one little lollipop grew_

(Tobi looks at Zetsu, horrified) NOOOOO!!! NOT TOBI JUNIOR!!!!!!!!

(Zetsu) …

(Tobi throws several scarves over Zetsu) Stay warm lil one! Daddy will look after you!!!

_From every branch an icicle hung, the twigs were bare as bones  
But when I broke those icicles off they turned into ice cream cones _

(Zetsu starts chewing upon on end of a scarf)

(A small bobble falls off and hits Tobi's head)

(Tobi hugs it) YEAH!!! TOBI JUNIOR IS GROWING AGAIN!!!!

(Pein growls) Again?

Yup.

(Akatsuki sigh and starts singing again)

_Ah ha ha, ho ho ho, what a sight to see  
He and his lollipop lollipop lollipop  
Lolly lolly lollipop tree_

(Kisame looks thoughtful) You know, winter is coming. Maybe we should think about getting some heating in our hideout.

(Kakuzu growls) Forget it. The price is too high.

(Konan sighs) Looks like we'll have to use Itachi's fire jutsu.

(Itachi) …

(Hidan) Screw that! I got a better idea!

(Pein) What would that be?

(Hidan walks over to Tobi) Hey, Let me see Tobi Junior

(Tobi nods and steps aside) Okay Hidan-San!

(Zetsu) …

(Hidan removes his scythe and grins darkly) Firewood!!!

(Zetsu) !!! (moves the pot to its side and rolls away quickly)

(Hidan chases after him)

(Tobi) NOOOOO!!! TOBI JUNIOR!!!! (he runs after them both)

… Maybe we shouldn't include Hidan anymore…

(Deidara's eye twitches) NO FAIR! HE GETS OUT JUST LIKE THAT?! YET I HAVE TO WORK UN?!!!

… oh crap…

So that's all for now, enjoy your half term and I'll update when the week has gone! (runs off)

(Deidara chases after with a clay bird) GET BACK HERE UN!!!

(Itachi) … hasn't she got the photos?

(Pein) HOLY (beep) YEAH!! AFTER HER!!!

(Akatsuki runs after Deidara)

NOOOOOO!!! (throws the photos to readers) SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!


	13. Little Emo Riding Hood

(looks at the half empty studio) Where is everyone?

(reader suddenly runs past screaming)

…

(Akatsuki runs after them yelling, swearing and waving their weapons in the air) GIVE US THOSE PHOTOS!!!!!

… … oh yeah…

(locks the door after them) Good luck!

Well… since most of the audience is currently running for their lives… I'm curious to know who's dead or alive… Anyway…

Thank You To Everyone!!!

95 reviews! And with half the people getting chased, it will be fun to see who has the 100th review o.o.

On with the story! Today it will be Little Red Riding Hood requested by (clears throat and looks at list) … a hell of lot of people. Nejihyugasfangirl, Lightning Blade, TRAV-kun, Art is a bang XD, Envygreedgreenthunder and Ice Amethyst 12.

R.I.P to any of them who is currently being beaten up.

So, since most of my best actors are currently… busy, I shall be using… err…

Sasuke!

(Sasuke walks onto stage, with a red cape on) … and how does this help towards my revenge?!

Itachi will be so jealous he'll jump of a building! orhewilldielaughing (huge smile)

(Sasuke) …

And playing the wolf will be…damn it, I was going to use Tobi! … where is he?

(Tobi runs past) I SHALL SAVE YOU READER!!!!!!! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!!

(Tobi runs into locked door) x.x

… Baka.

(Orochimaru slithers onto stage) I shall be the wolf!

(Sasuke's eyes widen)

… you're hired!

And for the Granny it will be…

(Tsunade walks on) Has everyone forgotten about me?

YOU'RE HIRED!

(Tsunade) ?

Now I need a woodcutter

(Jiraiya runs onto stage and winks at Tsunade) Your saviour is here!

…. You're fired.

(Jiraiya sulks and walks back to the girl's changing rooms)

Hmm… Kakashi, you're the woodcutter.

(Kakashi sighs from backstage and places his book away)

(Opens story book)

_Once upon a time, there was a little Emo who lived in a village near the forest. Whenever, he went out, he wore a red riding cloak, so everyone in the village called him Little Emo Riding Hood. One morning, Little Emo Riding Hood decided to visit her sick granny in the woods. _

(Sasuke scowls and walks along with a basket)

_Little Emo Riding Hood was cheerfully skipping along when a large wolf suddenly jumped from behind a tree. _

(Orochimaru jumps out in front of Sasuke) Little Emo Riding Hood where are you going? Wouldn't you prefer to come with me?

(Sasuke hits him with the basket) Never again!!!

(Sasuke runs off)

(Orochimaru clutches his head and sulks)

_The wolf realized that the Little Emo Riding Hood would be going to his Granny's so he took a quick shortcut to get there first. The Granny was most surprised to see the wolf standing there at her door._

(Tsunade) What the hell do you want?!

(Orochimaru waves his tongue in the air with a sly smile) Tsssssunade! Did you know Jiraiya has looked through your top drawer?

(Tsunade) WHAT?!!!! (She cracks her knuckles and walks into the changing rooms)

(Orochimaru quickly snuggles into the bed)

_At that very moment, the Little Emo Riding Hood had arrived at his Granny's._

(Sasuke knocks upon the door)

(Orochimaru) Ku ku ku, Enter into your doom.

(Sasuke) Huh?

(Orochimaru) I mean, Enter you lovely lil cutie ku ku ku .

(Sasuke) … I don't like where this is going.

Just get in there! (pushes him in)

(Orochimaru) Welcome my grandson! Come give your Granny a huge hug!!!

(Sasuke) … you don't sound like my Granny.

(Orochimaru) I err… got a snake in the throat.

(Sasuke) o.O

_It was then, that Little Emo Riding Hood noticed several things that wasn't his Granny's._

(Sasuke grumbles) What a … pale face you have.

(Orochimaru) I forgot my makeup my dear!

(Sasuke) … can I leave now?

NO!

(Sasuke) What a … flat chest you have.

…pervert

(Sakura faints backstage)

(Orochimaru pushes pillows down his chest and winks) However you like it my dear.

(Sasuke) … Ok… I'm ready to be saved now.

(No one comes)

(Sasuke) ... Damn it Sensei!

Lines!

(Sasuke) … What a long tongue you have.

(Orochimaru) All the better to lick you with my dear ku ku ku.

(Sasuke turns green)

(Orochimaru starts to wrap his tongue around Sasuke's arm)

(Sasuke screams and hits with the basket) I'M READY TO BE SAVED NOW!!!!!!!

(Kakashi appears at last)

(Sasuke becomes tangled in the tongue) ABOUT TIME!!!!

(Kakashi picks up Orochimaru and forms the lightning blade within his hand)

(Kakashi) Time to finish this.

(Orochimaru) Ku Ku Ku… why am I laughing?

(Kakashi sends his lightning blade through Orochimaru)

Wow… that's the second time he's died…. (calls his life insurance)

(Sasuke is long gone now)

(Kakashi throws his dead body away)

Well… that's all for -

(reader suddenly runs past screaming) DAMN YOU!!!!!!

How the-

(Akatsuki runs past) WE'LL KILL YOU ALLL!!!!

But the-

(Jiraiya runs past screaming) BUT I DIDN'T … THIS TIME!!!

What the-

(Tsunade runs after him) PERVERT!!!

…

… …

(hears loud thumps and screams from the other room)

… … …

I think this story should be listened as a huge risk to one's health.

So as a couple may noticed… I have started a new story, where Akatsuki arrives at my house with my other friends! I started writing it way before this, and it's just as funny!

(Akatsuki) WHAT?!!!

… Okay, I'm going to run now.

BYE!!!!! (sprints to China)


	14. Twas the Night Long After Christmas

(Skis onto the stage and sits down upon the stage with a large book with snowflakes upon it)

Woot!!! It's now the Season of err…. A lot of stuff! But for me, it's still a perfect time to annoy!

(Naruto characters) . . . That was a week ago.

…. Yeah… Well, I had to have an holiday as well! T.T

(Naruto characters) …

So… yeah, I don't know about the rest of you, but I want them back!!!

(Naruto characters) YEAH!!!!

(grins) So, instead of doing all my college work like a good little girl… today I shall be reading you; "Twas the Night Before Christmas!"

(Naruto) But it's a week into January…

(Shikamaru sighs) Earth to Naruto, we're pretending it's Christmas again.

(Naruto) … … Oh!!!

Now, I need someone to be Santa…

(Akatsuki) …

Yeah… Maybe not… need someone nice.

(runs backstage and comes back pulling Iruka)

Ladies and Gentlemen, give a huge applause for Iruka-Sensei!!!

(Iruka turns red)

Now, (pushes him back backstage) go get changed.

Where's are the little children?!!

(Naruto Genin quickly rush onto stage wearing reindeer antlers and Santa hats)

Good.. Now let's begin! (opens book)

_'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;_

(Ino) MOUSE?!!!!

(Sakura screams) WHERE?!!!

(Ino get candy cane) COME ON LITTLE MOUSEY! I PROMISE I WON'T KILL YOU!!!!

(Sakura rubs her fist into hand) Come out come out wherever you are…

(Dark Mousy suddenly smashes through the window and lands upon the stage) Someone call? (grin and winks)

… what the -

(Sakura and Ino pounce on him and start attacking) DIE MOUSE!!!!!

… … … (continues reading) This just gets freakier and freakier…

_The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;_

(Iruka pokes his head through the curtain) Now?

No!

(Naruto places his socks by the fireplace) I should have more socks, since I asked for a lot of ramen!

(Kiba suddenly gags) Did it occur to you to wash them first?!!!

… ew… sock flavoured ramen…

_The children were nestled all snug in their beds,While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;_

(Genin quickly run into the large bed)

(Choji's eyes shine) Sugar plums?!

(Shikamaru) Oh boy… here we go again…

(Choji forms into a large ball) GIVE ME THE SUGAR PLUMS!!!!

(Genin quickly jump out of bed as Choji runs it over till flat)

_And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,_

(Sasuke) I'm not going to get into bed with all them again…

…. Who wants Santa to come?

(other Genin) ME!!!!

Then Sasuke, you have to (grins)

(Sasuke) …

(Genin tie and gag him before tossing him upon the now flat bed)

_When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. _

(Genin quickly run back to the side of the stage) SANTA!!!

(Sasuke) HEY! I WANNA SEE TOO!!! (he rolls over)

_When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,With a little old driver, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick._

(Hinata uses Byakugan) T-There he is!

(A skeleton is suddenly drawn onto the stage in a sleigh, with Konohamaru dressed in green)

That's not Iruka! Who are you?!

(Skeleton) I am Jack! The Pumpkin King!

(Konohamaru grins) and I'm an elf!

… … … Your funeral mate

_And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; _

(Jack whips one of the nearest Reindeer) Now on -

(Hidan stands back up) THAT'S IT! I HAD ENOUGH!!!

(Pein growls) Let's get him.

(Tobi) No! Tobi is a good Rudolf!

(Akamaru suddenly runs pass them and jumps onto Jack) GRRR!!!

Told you…

_Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. _

(Iruka appears onto the stage with a cheerful grin)

_A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; _

(Naruto) OMG IT'S THE REAL SANTA!!!!!!!!

(Genin tackles Iruka to the ground)

(Konohamaru falls back in the sleigh laughing madly)

_He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,_

(Iruka crawls out from the pile of Genin) Ho ho ow!

(Naruto stands in front of Iruka with his hand outstretched) Presents.

(Konohamaru picks up the whip again and looks at the reindeer) Hmm…

(Iruka sighs and pulls out the large sack from the sleigh)

(Genin) YEAH PRESENTS!!!

_He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,_

(Iruka) Happy Christmas to all, and to all - what's happening to my sleigh?!!!!!

(Konohamaru screams as he clings onto the sleigh, the whip still held in his hand) I DID NOTHING!!!!

(Akatsuki) WHEN WE GET FREE OF THIS DAMN THING YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!

… Okay…

(Shino sulks) Everyone forgot about me

(Sasuke growls as he tears tearing open his present with his teeth)

(Naruto hugs the masses amount of ramen cups while Ino stares back over at Dark Mousey)

(Ino) .. You know.. He is kinda cute…

(Sakura nods and giggles)

(Dark Mousey) … Oh yeah, I forgot something… back home.. (he quickly flies off)

(Kiba runs over to Akamaru) HEY! SAVE SOME FOR ME!!!

(Jack clings to the curtain) WAIT UNTIL HALLOWEEN!!!!

… now I'm confused…

(closes book) So we'll end it there… and err… Merry pretend Christmas to all!


	15. Tinkle Tinkle Little Pop

(walks onto stage and stares at the empty audience) .. wow.. it really has been a while hasn't it?

(Naruto characters almost skeletons in the closet)

… whoops… (rubs back of head) I'm really sorry for not updating in… 4 months?

Naruto characters: x.x

Since I haven't done this in a long time, I'm going to have one last try with it… and if it's not as good, or is just plain poor, I shall stop. It's up to you to decide… if any of the usual reviewers are still around that is. I've missed you all (cries)

On to the first nursery rhyme! (opens dusty book) This one is called Humpty Dumpty with the old favorites; Akatsuki! This was requested by; Lightning Blade and Myatei-of-the-Akatsuki with the idea from chapter 386 (look it up).

_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall_

(Itachi walks on with a bald wig over his hair) … I hate you all…

Just get on with it!!!

Itachi: … (climbs onto the fake stage wall)

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!_

(Sasuke sneaks up behind him and pushes him off) REVENGE AT LAST!!!!! (runs off)

(Itachi rolls of ground laughing madly) F-F-Foolish little b-b-brother!!!!!

_All the King's horses and all the King's men_

(Pein throws all the members out of the castle window)

(Everyone jumps on pony Deidara) GO GO GO!!!

_Couldn't put Humpty together again!_

(All look at the laughing Itachi) ….

(Kisame) … He's finally cracked.

(Tobi) hehe.. (draws scribbles over the bald wig) Bunny!

(watches them drag Itachi to the lunatic asylum) Say hi to Torrie for me! ~

Next nursery rhyme is! ~ *drum rolls* _Tinkle Tinkle Little Pop_

(Tobi comes swinging from a rope) WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Hidan: (holding onto it) SHUT UP!!!!

_Tinkle Tinkle Little Pop_

Tobi: (holds out his arms and legs) ME A LITTLE STAR!!!!!

_How I wonder what you are?_

Tobi: (covers his mask with his hands) NOOOO NO ONE MUST KNOW!!!!!!

_Are you sane or are you weird?_

Tobi: (laughs evilly with lightning around him)

_Shiny diamond in the sky_

Tobi: (is suddenly electrocuted by the lightning)

(puts on sunglasses) Shiny Star ~

(closes book) Well… I don't know about this one, but… it's up to you readers to decide! So see you next time maybe ~ (waves)


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